And things have fallen and the pattern is made, Finally a chance to read the way. An all new language it is to me, Learning the lingo will be a challenge at least. Peacefulness and privacy, so hard to find, can at last be had ; I will soon figure out if it is what I need. So long ago ,memory barely serves, I believe I used to thrive. Questions asked no more, get behind the wheel and roar, not a soul sitting beside to tell me no more. With nothing left to prove, and nothing left to lose, For awhile again I can just be me!
I stood and watched while the world burned. Thinking to myself the while, that Listening and Commenting, and attempting to assuage the pain inflicted upon the innocent, I was doing the best a man could do. I stood and watched the world burn. Somehow, some way, something else it seemed I could do. Some profound statement I could utter perhaps to pull the good together.By reaching out to those who would hear, thinking to gain some insight, I found that while Many there are who communicate and raise voices that can be heard, too few I’m afraid versus those living in fear of retribution from profiteers, fanatics, and stubborn regimes possessing closed minds and preferring the status quo,while silencing the tongues of the meek and the mild, so still I stand and watch the world burn. Perhaps my impatience impairs my ability to see a light at the end of the tunnel, after all mortality remains the only thing we are given, and the life of one man is incredibly short in the course of history. Yet, I cannot help but feel guilty, while standing here, just watching the world burning.
It is not such a bad thing to wish the ability to do something one presently cannot though it is kind of a bad thing to not do what one can.
I do not quite know where I am going again, but I know when I land all will achieve the balance we need. Change can be good, and it will be for me. There will be new horizons I have not seen.The new owners of this resort, you see, after four years common sense they could not see. City folk with a purse full of cash, just could not help showing their ass. I know they will put the blame on me, But trying to help them more I just cannot see. Ownership to them is the pride, caring for guests and the property was my pride. I kinda, sorta wish them well, then again I wish they would go straight to hell.Now I understand that comment was rough, but they do not really know what makes this place go, and I know when we are gone, they will see that it’s tough. Once I get where I am going I will be free of this place, that has taken all my time for over a decade. Like some prisoners I am told miss their former abode, and the regular pace that dictates ones life, I feel quite confident I will be sitting square in the middle of my saddle; I will be going somewhere! Within the next week I will probably be off the “air” for a few days till I can get reconnected so to speak. Keep your eye on the screen. I will return!
If one cannot learn from life observed, he just might have the brain of a bird!
All along the hallway that stretched until the horizon cut it out of view, the portraits hung beside the doors, against walls of a pasty hue. Slowly treading along that hall while viewing the images along the way, a pattern seemed to reveal to me, a plan behind it all. A twist here and there upon a doorknob or two, revealed nothing but an inclination toward privacy. Some semblance of sense the paintings now began to make. On one side of the extended hall most figures resembled me or others in my family, no pattern could be distinguished upon the opposing wall. Twenty years walking it seemed until the opposite images made sense being the mates chosen by family in the branches of the family tree. Doors began opening beneath the hand that plied the knob, and revealed a bit at a time, of times long gone but remembered still as stories in the family blog. Further away the end of the hall came slowly into focus, and noticeable now one could realize the unevenness of the doors, and peeks inside revealed strangers to me that blended into the other side, the features folding themselves into members indeed of my family! Happily now, the steps came quicker, peering behind the barriers became much more fun to see. Viewing the family of memories exciting now to remember. Then curiously, espied on the floor instead of hanging near a door ; Closely I bent down and the photo was me, the trap door opened and I fell, screaming into eternity!
I think the ugly writers block finally slid out of my way. The attempt for now to leap into the foray. Words battling for their place in line, Ideas lying to get out of my mind. Poetic license shall set me free, and help empty my aching head of excess inventory. Not being responsible for what flows out of the bursting dam holding everything in, nothing is not fair game. Such a bold start and the flames already burn low. Maybe bursting, indeed was too large a word; used early in this rhetorical theme, and while the dull ache my head still holds, eases as the minutes go by. That block in my head still ain’t gone away, so from that fiery start, I’m just going to bed anyway.
I have been battling through this writers block, and I am trying to get just one point through. I have the knowledge to make myself whole, but no guts to follow through. Never did I ever wish to hurt any who trusted in me, but of course I am just human,it happens inadvertently. I do not believe I have done such a thing purposely , but to cure my ill I am afraid that I will and that thought tortures me. It seems that as I get older I much prefer to spend a lot more of my time alone. Simple it seems till you realize a long time companion I would have to send home. Nearly two decades mostly side by side, we have raised our progeny and helped with theirs too. Now I feel the need to have the freedom to finish my life as I choose, especially since my partner has chosen another route. As I said before, it works against my grain to put pain onto people when they have nothing to blame. So what may be the chivalrous course to work out of my dilemma?
Early morning, and sleep seems so far away, perhaps punching buttons will “will” these eyes to close. Here hope may help to ease this mind, and allow this tired body rest for the night. Looking over the international news,many of my blogger friends ,from my point of view, seem to be in constant danger every day, or does media coverage make things seem that way? In the states with coverage dense, every who listens hears of tragic events that occur every day, though sometimes a thousand miles away; the news seems to come from just next door. Some things I know ,like how tough it can be, to access the internet from across the ocean. Even now I sit and wonder how many agencies are tracking me, for simply sharing some common, human shared values with the folks I have chatted with across the seas. How badly slanted can the news that we see, be aimed at herding the huge herd of sheep,[IE people who do not really listen] to the Propaganda that swells from every formal post,thus guiding public opinion into numbers they can count, and thusly sway populations opinion into whatever which government has decided it’s position. I am no fool, and I know that it is true, that different leaders lead and others push, and no single one of us, no matter where we live, can singly make any change. Just bless us for trying, in the communications we have to share the experiences of a common man.
The purpose of being is to at the least not make things worse!